I’m a big believer in fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason and no matter what you go through, it’ll all be alright in the end.
You may have already read my blog post about how I ended up here (About us), and this little incident happened not long after I handed my notice in at work…
I had a few errands to run in town and stopped for a bite to eat at a vegan restaurant for lunch, (really cool little place with a modern hippy vibe and delicious food – Amala). I sat myself down on a two-seater table in the middle of the restaurant facing the window, ordered a chai latte and started to browse the menu. I was immediately distracted by a loud voice behind me; a confident middle-aged man who was bragging about his dating exploits to a female friend, gross! I definitely couldn’t listen to that for an hour so I moved to the floor seating area by the window, which was covered with an array of green scatter cushions!
I am not what happened to me,
I am what I choose to become.
As soon as I moved the blonde lady to my left said “it’s much better sitting on the floor, right?”. This initiated a conversation that lasted for about an hour. She explained that she had recently flown over from America on a spur of the moment trip to visit friends, one of which she was having lunch with. The three of us talked about jobs and they asked what I did, I explained that I had recently handed in my notice and the reasons behind it. They immediately got it, agreeing that life is too short to be unhappy and it is really important to do what you are passionate about.
They then asked if my parents had been happy about it, this question caught me off-guard, and before I knew it I was crying (and they were complete unphased by it, and just kept smiling and waited for me to continue). Like I mentioned previously, my career until this date had been heavily influenced by my parents’ aspirations for me and their values of always having a job and being financially stable (all completely understandable!). When I told my parents that I had handed in my notice in without having a job to go to their reaction was the complete opposite of what I expected. I thought that they were going to be angry and disappointed with me for being immature, for leaving a secure, well-paid job to being basically unemployed. But instead they were happy for me, and told me that I should do what I want and that I should pursue something creative because I had always been good at that! It was this unexpected belief in me that brought me to tears in front of these people I had only just met!
Then her friend said something to me that has stuck in my mind ever since: “we are domesticated”… and it’s so true! Our lives have been a journey of total domestication; by our families, our peers, our schools and our society. We only act the way we do because we are governed by other peoples’ expectations of us. Can you imagine what your life could be like if we weren’t trained to think in a certain way or follow a certain path because “that’s what everyone else has done”?! We weren’t born to pay bills and die; we can be free from that if we open our minds to it! It turns out that these friends had met in Spain on a personal leadership course which expanded and developed on this principle of domestication and how to take control of your life.
We also talked about fate. Being positive about the future and open to new opportunities brings about new possibilities: you create your own luck. He explained that he was going sailing for three months later in the year from Fiji to Bora Bora because he saw an advert on facebook by a couple who were sailing around the world and they needed someone with experience to help them, he responded they replied and it was booked! What if he had seen the advert and thought: they won’t pick me, I won’t be good at that, I can’t go away for such a long time? By opening his mind to new opportunities, he was gonna be living the dream!
By changing seats that day I met two wonderful people with open hearts and minds with whom I felt an immediate connection. Two people who told me that what I was doing was the right thing and helped me to see the bigger picture.
We hugged and said our goodbyes and I left that place feeling so positive about the future. Ready to be wild!